Scented candles

A lot of things happen within a day. Mine was just normal aside from the fact that I cried every now and then. I cry because I'm scared there's no hope, I cry because I feel helpless with my situation. I cry because there's no more us. I cry because I can't accept the truth. I couldn't be like this forever. I opened Google and searched "How to deal with breakup depression" since I know I am going through depression right now. I've read a lot of blogs and articles about it. What caught my attention is the word "Hope" and "Acceptance". Once you stopped hoping then acceptance will follow. It's like a ringing bell for me. It's a perfect reason why it's hard for me to move on and let go. I blame myself for the ruined relationship. It shouldn't be like that!

I went up, lighted some scented candles, breathe in, cleared my mind and told myself: "Cut the communication and get over him". I've read that there are 6 stages in getting over someone. I am currently in stage 4 and hoping to step onto stage 5 quickly to regain my norm. There are a lot of factors I need to consider. First, I need to forgive myself, second is to forgive him and third is to let go of the resentments and anger. I can't go back and fix things. I am incapable of controlling his mind but I am capable of controlling my emotions, my life and future. Writing or journalling helps a lot. I created this blog to help myself cope up and to express what I feel. I was once a very funny and humorous girl and I plan to go back to my old self. There's more that life will offer. I am just starting mine. :)