Feb. 20. 2012

Today, I have decided to write everything. What I am going through, what I feel and what I think about.

Career and success were just a piece of cake for me. But relationships and matters of the heart are freaking hard. Only I can feel my own hurt, pain, loneliness and despair. I feel like giving up but I was born strong. I am doing my best to continue my life as if nothing happened. I keep on asking, what's the difference between my past relationships and my relationship with him? With him I lose myself. With him I lost track of who I really am. You trust love too much that you forgot some important things in your life.

These are the lessons that life wants me to know. Why do we live in other people's shadow? 2 months ago I started crying and whining as if there's no tomorrow. Yes I cry everyday. Yes I feel almost all emotions. But it helps a lot. I am going through something that I myself can only explain. As I was given another day to live, I am learning and I am growing up.

Life and fate will throw us problems and obstacles to let us know that we are living in the present time. That we need to feel we are breathing, listen to the sound of the wind and wonder if birds also feel heart broken. Why do I worry about the past which already happened and of the future which has not happened yet and I know myself I can't change.

Today, I vow to myself that I will live my life in the present state and be aware of my worth. Let go of what hurts me and those imaginary things that only happen in movies. Nobody or no one can tell me what's in store for me. I need to live my life, no more "what if" , "if ever" , "in the future , and "if only". That is what life has given me and I need to embrace and accept it. Everything will fall into it's right place and by that time I can say I am ready. Don't rush, live free, do things that will make you happy and contented. I promise, my life will get better. :)